Gotta let it happen

I don't even know myself at all
I thought I would be happy by now
The more I try to push it I realize
Gotta let go of control

Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
So let it happen

It's just a spark
But it's enough to keep me going
And when it's dark out, no one's around
It keeps glowing

Every night I try my best to dream
Tomorrow makes it better
Then I wake up to the cold reality
And not a thing is changed

But it will happen
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen
Gotta let it happen

It's just a spark
But it's enough to keep me going
And when it's dark out, no one's around
It keeps glowing

I've been dreaming for so long now. And I feel like nothing's changing. Sometimes I really feel frustrated, and I wanted to give up. 

But then I have this voice inside me that's telling me, I'd rather keep suffering than accept that I won't be living my dream. There is that little spark that just pushes me up even though I'm at my downest.

I learned to just rest when I feel so tired. That great things take time. That it's gonna happen. I just have to let it happen and not push it when it's not yet time.

This song by Paramore allowed me to surrender again today. I feel like I always wanted to control things. But really, I should just let things happen, and really, do my the best I can and make sure I'm enjoying the process.

I am becoming happier and happier everyday. I feel like I'm still journeying to life, and I'm still discovering more things about myself. I just really need to embrace my truth and listen to my heart more often.

Everyday I'm becoming more sure of what I want. But impatience is my enemy. That's why I'll try to surrender and cultivate patience.